Monday, July 11, 2011

Embrace being Single!

As the anxiety rises through my head wondering what I did to make her run, I sit back and analyze everything. The feeling of emotions of inadequacy roles over me as I descend to pits of depression. Trying to feel happy but cant put the smile on my face. The feeling of being alone is an upmost horrible feeling at first but as I stare at the phone and realize she is not going to send a text back to a witty thing I said. I am single and a master of my own domain, no one to tell me what to do or say. I realize that I may not be ready for a relationship but trying to rush into one because I am afraid of being alone. I have always done that jumping from one to another thinking it was a good idea. Figured out that it was always a bad idea because I haven’t experienced being alone truly and I think that is why it scares me.
            The thought of the unknown is a scary thought and I wasn’t wanting to feel this way. Everything was good until we did the deed and then it changes the emotions between us both, the scary thought of finding someone was also a happy thought that I could not erase I knew I started to rush into quickly. I tend to do that a lot and then see the fleeing of women that I have seen all to much. Ive always been a relationship type of guy but have not embellished the single life. I think it is time to start understanding that I can be happy with myself and be alone.
            First things first, I need to reinvent my values as a person. There is a reason why I have failed relationships and that is because I myself has no core values, I use their values to create my own perception therefore I am reliant own the relationship to define my thoughts and feelings. How I am going to do that is to create the perception that I am in control in what I want and what I do. Self control shows many people who they really are in life and creation of life as they know it. I tend to fall in the category where I will follow everyone else’s vision in what I am supposed to be. I am my own person and that speaks a lot for many people who don’t know who they are and what they are capable of. Creating self control not only will help me develop values but create a confidence that is long lasting in being a person who can get about anything they want in life. I must commit to the new me and say goodbye the irresponsible me, I must push forward in life to a degree of irreversible threat. I need this as if it is my sanction my undeniable right as an individual. I must finally decided to accomplish my goals and create a feeling of self worth so the women that I want will want what I share as a value. Its time to do it!!