Love Yourself

As I stare waitingly into the cold black screen, I have anxiety on the unexplained. The call or even text that I have waited for sometime just will not come. Having the urge to make the attempt to call I back up for a minute and excuse myself. “I shouldn’t be feeling this way, I should be out and about but I am not”. Sitting in my bedroom just pondering and wanting it to give me some sound that I have been yourning for. With all of the people and women that I have met why is this one bothering me? Why cant I just let go and just move on somehow?

            Wondering for several days I walked down the street remembering of the homework assignment I had to complete in English, I started to stress about that as well. The assignment was to write about a travelling experience I had that taught me a lesson and to write as a narrative. I started out as talking about the whole thing of me in Lake Powell and doing all of the crazy things that we did. One thing that stuck in my mind was the “cliff Jump” this was one of my most memorable moments in my life that I could remember. As I start to write about it I realized that was the only time I was single and happy to not have to worry about what another person is doing.

            As I continue to ponder the reasoning and writing the story my dialogue comes to life as if the words was trying to say something to me. I stop and thought real hard on why I feel that I always have to have a female around me. “I don’t know my limits, I don’t even know how to do anything”. The thought processes through my head like a nail gun putting together the foundation of a wall. I need to start fulfilling my life with other things than the attention of the opposite sex. I cant operate without knowing of a women that cares or at least is thinking of me. So how do I start? What am I going to do to rid myself of the all to commonality of most men and why we fail with relationships.

           

            The all to common “jumping from one to the other” and why we associate this to being happy. I am going to work with this one as somewhat of a starter because I myself has fallen victim to a lot of the term usage of my own life and why I do this. I have always been in a relationship and enjoyed them but for one I time in my life I have not truly enjoyed myself in being single. So here is a few things I am going to point at when trying this new thing:

• Make a list “Bucket List”- Try new things or reinvent old things  but make a list in the stuff you have always wanted to try and do it alone. You don’t need friends for this one try to do this one and you should be trying to make new friends.
• Get fit- Now I am always saying this because I enjoy being healthy but try to enjoy wherever you are.
• Help your community- Try to sign up to help fix the local community or even feed the homeless. Be proactive in giving back to your community.
• Reconnect with family/friends- this is a big one that I had an issue with because with my relationships I was close guarded so I cared nothing with the other relationships in my life. Basically just leaving them to the waste side.
• Go on vacation with yourself- I am going to go to New York this summer and I believe I am going to go there by myself to let some steam off.

There is a lot of other things you can do but start to live life as if you are the one driving. Too many people fall victim to the innate nature of a relationship and they find themselves in an emotional rollercoaster. If you yourself do not know what you like how is the other person in your life going to know!!