Three Ways To Make Her “Want" More

Driving home for a long day of work I decided to take the long route home. Driving through the side streets, I started to wonder about my life and where was I headed. The house with a white picket fence was always the plan I thought as I drove through the neighborhood. 

Recently I developed a relationship with a young women, we will call her “Mel.” I was head over heels for this women, she even enjoyed working out together. I felt like I was on cloud nine. We recently started to say the “L” word if you could believe it. Everything was perfect, almost too perfect.

"I feel a vibration from my left hip pocket."

 It was Mel asking if we could talk. I wasn’t worried. We don’t fight or get angry at each other, what is the worst that can happen? When I get home I couldn’t wait to get on the phone to talk to her (felt like a school kid again). The phone kept ringing and ringing, “maybe she was going to call me?” I thought out loud. Three days passed without talking to her. In the middle of the day I get a text from her; It reads “I am sorry but I just can’t do this, you seem so perfect, we don’t fight or argue, I feel like we are way too comfortable with each other.” My heart drops. What does she mean that we are way too comfortable? I text back with no reply. No reply ever again.

This is a story I hear over and over again. Man gets women, women gets scared because of complacency, Women leaves man. It’s not our fault, we didn't do anything wrong right? Time and time again, I hear the same old sob story about how the girl felt like it was moving too fast or not moving too fast. I think that is just bull. Recently I was on the other side of the spectrum. I started to date this girl. She was nice and beautiful, giving me lots of attention but that's all it was. I felt a connection but didn’t feel like I was getting what all good relationships needed.

So I developed a three step method to utilize if you feel things are becoming too comfortable.

        Become “un” needy

-     Most men become very comfortable and therefore needy. This is a big no no. You need to be seen as her equal not a groveling dog. Create space between her and you. You don’t need to see her every day, go do things for yourself.

         Create goals

      This is a piggy back off of the first step. If you are able to see her every day that means you are not a busy person. You my friend have become complacent. Start to tackle some of those goals that you set aside. Get a degree, lose weight, start a side business, whatever it is do it. It not only shows that you care for your life but helps her understand where you stand in hers. It increases your value in the relationship.

    

       Keep her guessing

      Now that you are out of the house and have become a busy man, she may want some time with you. This is where you can plan something special. You may want to plan a picnic at sunset or a romantic dinner (cooked by you) at home where you can cuddle and watch a romantic comedy. Try to keep the relationship different and fun.

With these three steps, you will keep her guessing and increase value for the relationship. Try to use these steps and leave a comment below to tell me what you did. Also visit my sister blog www.artofbeau.com

Love Yourself

As I stare waitingly into the cold black screen, I have anxiety on the unexplained. The call or even text that I have waited for sometime just will not come. Having the urge to make the attempt to call I back up for a minute and excuse myself. “I shouldn’t be feeling this way, I should be out and about but I am not”. Sitting in my bedroom just pondering and wanting it to give me some sound that I have been yourning for. With all of the people and women that I have met why is this one bothering me? Why cant I just let go and just move on somehow?

            Wondering for several days I walked down the street remembering of the homework assignment I had to complete in English, I started to stress about that as well. The assignment was to write about a travelling experience I had that taught me a lesson and to write as a narrative. I started out as talking about the whole thing of me in Lake Powell and doing all of the crazy things that we did. One thing that stuck in my mind was the “cliff Jump” this was one of my most memorable moments in my life that I could remember. As I start to write about it I realized that was the only time I was single and happy to not have to worry about what another person is doing.

            As I continue to ponder the reasoning and writing the story my dialogue comes to life as if the words was trying to say something to me. I stop and thought real hard on why I feel that I always have to have a female around me. “I don’t know my limits, I don’t even know how to do anything”. The thought processes through my head like a nail gun putting together the foundation of a wall. I need to start fulfilling my life with other things than the attention of the opposite sex. I cant operate without knowing of a women that cares or at least is thinking of me. So how do I start? What am I going to do to rid myself of the all to commonality of most men and why we fail with relationships.

           

            The all to common “jumping from one to the other” and why we associate this to being happy. I am going to work with this one as somewhat of a starter because I myself has fallen victim to a lot of the term usage of my own life and why I do this. I have always been in a relationship and enjoyed them but for one I time in my life I have not truly enjoyed myself in being single. So here is a few things I am going to point at when trying this new thing:

• Make a list “Bucket List”- Try new things or reinvent old things  but make a list in the stuff you have always wanted to try and do it alone. You don’t need friends for this one try to do this one and you should be trying to make new friends.
• Get fit- Now I am always saying this because I enjoy being healthy but try to enjoy wherever you are.
• Help your community- Try to sign up to help fix the local community or even feed the homeless. Be proactive in giving back to your community.
• Reconnect with family/friends- this is a big one that I had an issue with because with my relationships I was close guarded so I cared nothing with the other relationships in my life. Basically just leaving them to the waste side.
• Go on vacation with yourself- I am going to go to New York this summer and I believe I am going to go there by myself to let some steam off.

There is a lot of other things you can do but start to live life as if you are the one driving. Too many people fall victim to the innate nature of a relationship and they find themselves in an emotional rollercoaster. If you yourself do not know what you like how is the other person in your life going to know!!

Product of your environment “subjective”

Sitting there with a six dollar Latte, thinking to myself while I was people watching “Why do people do what they do”? It makes no sense to me that your soul, your whole embodiment of what makes you who you are may be a little skewed. Looking around people has a habit they pick up when they are really little as toddlers and gradually it becomes a thought they start to grow from it. I was thinking about it, what could have caused the way I think? What triggered my thought process in which I try to utilize biological advances to use towards my struggles in being a man my son can look up to?

Social Objectiveness

Walking into the bar I was wondering around when I saw a gentleman with a group of people and was wondering why he was so important. He was not a movie star nor was he anyone I would think exceptionally interesting just looking at him. I had to know more about this so of course if I don’t know how it works I try to find out. So when he had to stop to go to the bar to get another drink I had to make a move to ask why he had almost a quarter of the bar in the palm of his hands.

I approached the middle aged man as If he was a teacher and I was an eager student to learn. “ Hey can I ask you a question” I said in a shaky voice. Smiling at me a with a weird grin he stated “sure”.  “I noticed that all of those people over there were giving all of their attention to you, do you know all of those people?” He grinned a pretty big grin and smiled stating “I am just interesting to talk to, I make myself open for opinions and I try to get to know everyone I can by remembering the name and something about them”. Okay as I walked away thinking maybe I can use this to my advantage.

Very simple when you think about it right? Basic thought process and simple playground theory on how to make friends but how do we use this to get the women to melt out of your hands? This was something I had to look into with knowing that attention is something that women like to have and give it to someone who has greater social value than her. See as much as I knew than was that you yourself is a very interesting person, everyone is very interesting and all you have to do is get past the first initial ice breaker. Lets look at this in depth just a little bit further and concentrate on the social value part.

Social Value is what Pick up artists use to attract women utilizing the value of their social skills to dominate the conversation having the object of their desire be submissive which will entitle the Pick up artists basically dominate her emotions as well. This is great and all but what if you can get multiple women attracted to you without even talking to them directly? How can we as men use each other to get all the women at the bar to be infused on trying to get our attention? I had an Idea but just had to test it out.

So after doing the research I decided to take it to the streets and try it at the local bar.  Sitting down at the bar where you had a clear view of everyone in the room I started in on the bartender. And I will review my notes with you to show you its all mathematical engineered to work as long as you do not get emotional.  Remember these points also when you do start to talk to the women you want as well.

• So placement is key in this game of cat and mouse, and we already went how you need to show Alpha male characterstics. Remember this process will evaluate your social value and aspects on making new friends and creating an attraction from women.

• So lets hit the basics on making people feel important.

1. know their name- simple but not so simple, how many times did you forget someone’s name. When they say their name, take some time to remember it and repeat it back to them, it actually shows a better social value.
2. Know something personal about them- this is a great thing to remember when wanting to make a bigger impression on the people you want to make your friends. It shows openness and wanting to be personal at the same time.
3. use body language- Don’t show a passive person this shows that you are not confident and it will not be good in the end and even lowering or even dismissing your social value.
4. Smile and ask open ended questions and really be involved in conversations, don’t act like it!!

• The bartender is the first piece of the puzzle. They are your friend but making them a better friend will take time and a little more dough if you want a good outcome. Tip very well and get to know their name and they will help you with what you came there for IE women.
• Make yourself the center of attention- now you know all of the players you need to know the game, be the center of attention of a group and make everyone involved, use dominant body language but also be open to everyone else. Be in the middle so everyone can talk to you and you can point them out when addressing them. If you have never been a mediator what you need to do is have a comment on everything someone says, use a real comment and always make it positive. Now you have successfully raised social value and your confidence.
• Use this to your advantage- look at the women around you after about 10 – 15 minutes, they should be fixated on you and your every move, don’t screw it up. Use this to your advantage, invite them into the conversation and if you don’t know if they are attracted look at the body language:

1. playfulness- playing with the hair or any part of clothing,
2. the look- yes of course if she stares then don’t be a wimp
3. knees and feet- look at them if any pointing in your direction and she glances to see then like I said don’t be a wimp
4. overly moving, exemplifying action- this is very key, moving slower, slurping down the drink slowly, flinging hair back, being fidgety, these are things to remember.

• Remembering your value- don’t put her on a pedestal when opening up with her, remember you just had a bunch of people eating out of your hands and to put her above you decreases your value fast. Use somewhat of a negative comment and intend to be funny like “ you have broad shoulders for a women” or “you have only one dimple when you smile, its odd but cute”

When doing this task it will increase your confidence not only with women but people in general. Having this type of quality you can use not only in just attracting women but your worth at your job or with your current friends. Remembering that this is and can be used very versatile will help you control your intentions and emotions as well.